Trumpspeare: [into phone] And it be false, what they hath said, such lies!
Methinks this will away, and quickly so.
Belike it’s best we do a Charleston thing,
Yet, what that is, I know no more than thee.
Now go, and make thy father proud again.
Good night.
[to next phone line] And now, Cohen, what news with thee.
Cohen: How do the polls delight your excellency?
Trumpspeare: Great progress, and thy man hath proven true.
Cohen: And, now, we are petitioned by The Times,
for Ivana’s papers, to un-seal.
Trumpspeare: Indeed, this suit must never come to pass,
Send Kasowitz, he shall oppose them well.
[To someone off stage] Bring me an ale, please!
Cohen: We need a company opened for our
Esteemed and loyal friend, Lord Pecker.
Trumpspeare: ‘Tis always good when things are opened up
to give an entrance for our dear Lord Pecker.
Cohen: Indeed. I’ll do’t. T’would not be hard at all.
Trumpspeare: Not hard at all? Pecker won’t work well, then.
Cohen: Indeed! I shall withdraw to get it started.
Trumpspeare: Withdraw to start? Thy Pecker seems confused.
[To someone offstage] An ale, prithee!
Cohen: No worry. Pecker always finds a way
to penetrate the problems of the day.
Trumpspeare: ‘Tis true. A slippery jack can Pecker be.
Cohen: What shall we call this new-found firm?
Trumpspeare: Ay. Pecker is more fit when he is firm.
[To someone offstage] My kingdom for an ale!
Cohen: Shall it be, perchance, Pecker Brothers,
or maybe just The Pecker Company,
or, how about we name it, Pecker and Sons?
Trumpspeare: That’s it. I say we use Pecker and Sons.
Without a Pecker, how can one have sons?
Cohen: Pecker and Sons it is. I’ll tend to Pecker’s
opening and zip it up at once.
Trumpspeare: Hath ale now quick become as scarce ask King’s blood?
I asked thee for a godforsaken ale.
[Enter Assistant with the ale].
Assistant: Your ale, sire.
Trumpspeare: Thank thee very much, indeed.